


Dick in a Box

by wendywrites



Category: Olympics RPF, Swimming RPF
Genre: M/M, olympic holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2013-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-29 02:52:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/681888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wendywrites/pseuds/wendywrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan gets Michael a gag gift for Christmas</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dick in a Box

After 12 years of knowing each other -and 4 months of living together- Michael is more than used to Ryan's various tics and idiosyncrasies. Ryan always drinks straight from the OJ carton but never the milk, Ryan licks his lips when he's feeling happy, and Ryan rubs his nose when he lies. Even so, Ryan is as unpredictable as British weather and finds ways to surprise Michael. Now, however, he definitely knows that Ryan is up to something. The day started off simply enough, with Ryan pestering Michael about putting up Christmas decorations. Ryan is totally into the holiday spirit and wanted to start decorating from the first day of the month. After nearly two weeks of stalling, Michael finally gave Ryan the go-ahead for them to start.

 

The first thing that sets off Michael's suspicions was Ryan not making a joke about getting stuff from Michael's. Ryan could always be counted upon to make some lame joke about him having the same name as the store, but today? Nothing. Michael spent most of the trip shooting glances at Ryan, waiting for him to finall

 

"Hey, Mike. I got somethin' real important to give you. So just sit down and listen." His somber tone initially causes Michael to worry, but Michael notices Ryan's face is super serious in the way that it only gets when he's trying not to laugh, so he relaxes and takes a seat on their sofa. The giant box Ryan is carrying also raises suspicion and garners a raised eyebrow from Michael.

 

"It's a bit early to be exchanging gifts." Ryan continues as if he hadn't said anything.

 

"Mike, you know we've been together such a long ass time. And I'm like just ready to lay it on the line." Michael wonders if Ryan went and bought a puppy behind his back. It was an idea he had back when they first moved in, some kind of symbolic gesture of them merging their lives together or whatever. Michael thought he managed to talk him out of it for at least a couple more years but maybe he was wrong.

 

"Bro, you know how it's Christmas and my heart is open real wide, and I wanna give you something so you know what's on my mind. This gift, it's real special, man. Here, take off the top."

 

Michael takes a look inside. It's Ryan's dick in a box. The fuck? Ryan  punctuates the gesture with a hip thrust that results in his dick bobbing obscenely inside the box. Michael can't help it, he collapses to his knees on the floor as his body is wracked with laughter. It gets worse, Ryan starts singing.

 

_Not gonna get you a diamond ring_

_That sort of gift don't mean anything_

_Not gonna get you a fancy car_

_Girl, ya gotta know you're my shinin' star_

 

 

Ryan gets bold and grabs Michael's head, holding it in place to more effectively thrust his boxed dick in his face.

 

"Hey, watch it! You're gonna put my eye out, you motherfucker!"

 

Ryan lets go of head and starts gyrating on his own. As Michael gets trapped into another set of the giggles, he absently thinks that, with some tweaking, this situation could have been sexy.

 

_Not gonna get you a house in the hills_

_A girl like you needs somethin' real_

_Wanna get you somethin' from the heart_

_It's my dick in a box!_

 

 

"Stop!" Michael chokes out, feebly pushing away the cardboard box as Ryan moves back into his face. "And stop calling me a girl, you asshole."

 

"You know you love it. Reezy gives the best gifts." Ryan sits down on the floor next to Michael. "Well, I've got you your gift, time for you to receive it."

 

"Pffft, fuck off. I'm not going to either blow you or fuck you through a cardboard box." Michael hides a grin and goes back to decorating the living room.

 

"My-kull!" You don't have to know Ryan for 12 years to hear the grin in his voice.


End file.
